Rachel Maddow screws me

She's a lesbian, so it's not possible, but she still ruined my life. I owe this to Andrew Tully and the entire country of Canada: Congratulations... Yes,.. congratulations on the single worst ending that could ever happen in my life. I thought when Sidney Crosby won the cup that it would haunt me forever, but now I have this.

Epic game for many reasons. People around me, though I was acting quite the ass, were asking questions about hockey. Shocking, but awesome. Legitimate sports writers on twitter were saying things like "why don't I watch hockey more?". Well, this was a big game for the country of Canada, USA, and the entire NHL. Lesbian look-alike Sidney Crosby's game winner aside, the gold medal game went into sudden death overtime. Single biggest event ever. (Jeremy Roenick's words, not mine). Zach Parise tied up the game and got my friends up in the air chanting "U-S-A" like it was the day the Berlin wall fell.

"Play them ten times they might win nine... "

Herb Brooks, Miracle

Well, that one out of ten times was last Sunday. This was one of those other times. Dammit. Great tournament and great effort by every team involved. It will have a ripple effect in the NHL and potentially could get hockey past basketball assuming the NBA goes on strike / lockout (whatever you want to label billionaires yelling at millionaires while unemployment is over 10%).

Overall thoughts of the tournament:

I thought the scoring system was incredible and that the NHL should adopt it as soon as possible (2010-2011 season). The shootout is awesome for the sport, great for the casual fan, and provides many amazing highlighted plays, but it is not fair to score that victory the same as someone pounding the Atlanta Thrashers 6-0 in regulation. The Olympic tournament had it right:

Regulation victory = 3 points

Overtime victory = 2 points (shoot out or 5 minute OT)

Overtime loss = 1 point (shoot out or 5 minute OT)

Regulation Loss = 0 points

This still gets no ties in the NHL, but rewards teams accordingly. Simple enough, you just add another column. It's only fair. It may separate some of the teams in the 5 through 12 seed range that usually make the final month of regular season interesting, but it will reward teams that have really earned it and are truly the best in the game.

No Ryan Kesler going legend, in fact, Rachel Maddow went even more legend than ever possible. Congrats to Canada. Great game. This was the only thing the country wanted. Not medal count, not women's hockey gold, not free Molsons. This is what they got and they closed out the olympics the way movies end.

Gary Bettman Doesn't Get It

Like most psychotic hockey fans, I was drawn to tonight's Canada vs Russia game. Why? Because it's the single best collection of talent I have ever seen put onto an ice surface outside of some rinky dinky all star game where nobody tries. This is the one and only time you'll ever get to see this collection of talent go all out in one 60 minute game. So, why does this interest me so much outside of the obvious entertainment of the evening? Because it might be the last time any of us see it. That's right everyone, despite the nation pouring its heart out for the americans last sunday, and boosted MSNBCs ratings to new heights, the NHL owners, and NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman, are considering ending their player's involvement. Just check out my last blog entry to see if anyone cares about NHLers playing in the tournament.

Such an incredibly selfish and stupid move by the commissioner who has a history of seeing something people like, enjoy, and would grow the game of hockey only to do exactly the opposite. He is using the claim that owners lose revenue with the players taking 3 weeks off to play in the once every 4 year tournament even though he wouldn't sell the failed franchise of Phoenix to a willing buyer who's only demand was to move the team to Toronto (a thriving hockey market). I guess the commissioner has a short memory. The very night that USA upset Canada in a preliminary round game that basically didn't mean anything, you could find him talking to the media about the very reasons there is a discussion for aborting the NHL's partnership with the Olympics. It happens once every four years. There is no possible way the loss in revenue is that much considering they still play the full 82 games, and it happens only twice, and on occasion three times, in a freaking decade.

This isn't the Pro Bowl where star power participation is an issue, this is about guys playing for their country, not a fucking owner. Prior to tonight's game, announcer Jeremy Roenick (freaking awesome by the way) interviewed the planet's best player Alex Ovechkin. He talked about the Olympics, how much it meant for him, and they even highlighted the epic hit on Jaromir Jagr which set up a huge goal. A play we would have never seen if the NHL didn't participate in the games. Ovechkin has to be the most likable athlete playing professionally right now because the guy flat out says what he wants and doesn't care about greed. Roenick asked him about the potential situation with his home country Russia hosting the 2014 games and what he thought about the thought that Bettman would say he couldn't play:

"Just because someone tells me I cannot play, why is that going to stop me? How can someone tell you that you can't play for your country? The Canada vs USA game drew 10,000,000 viewers didn't it? To me, that would never happen with a bunch of college kids or AHL guys. [...] When someone brings up the topic it usually is all about one thing: money. I am happy with my money and I don't care if I lose it because I am going to play for my country."

Alex Ovechkin

That's the most selfless thing I have ever heard a professional athlete say. You may dislike Ovechkin, but likely, it's jealousy. The man is the best player in the world, plays reckless no matter what the competition, and is willing to skip 3 weeks of game checks to do something (for free) for his country. It doesn't sound like he'd rule out playing a season in Russia in 2014 if it meant he could play in the olympics (the KHL, Russian pro league, wouldn't hold players back so this is a real possibility). The NHL is concerned with the KHLs growth, trust me, and personally I think this is a move by Bettman similar to the political boycotts of USSR and USA hosted olympics. He is afraid of the KHL and wants to make a statement to that country that "his" league wants no part in it. Well, hate to break it to him, but nobody wants any part of Bettman. In fact, I have no idea why he is commissioner. The guy knows jack shit about hockey and even less about business (see: Phoenix Coyotes, Florida Panthers, Tampa Bay Lightning, Atlanta Thrashers, ect).

The league needs to participate in this tournament. It has become part of the games. We get our "who the hell is this guy/ gal" moments during the other shit, but please don't ruin hockey. Alex Ovechkin's Russian team just got their fucking asses kicked and they're hosting the next games, they deserve another shot. Not just because they're exciting to watch, but they're their countries best assets. They care about hockey and their country far more than some fucking dollars and cents. Bettman is so engrained in business and revenue that he's completely blinded himself from reality. Quite ironic his interview occurred sandwiched between two promotions for CNBC's documentary BOOMER$. Some things are more important than money. Apparently he hasn't learned that.

Ryan Kesler Does Canada

First, the Doors did the Ed Sullivan Show, then Debbie did Dallas, but Sunday Night Ryan Kesler did Canada.

I hate them.

That phrase will live forever. That was Ryan Kesler's response to a question about the Canadian hockey team prior to last nights game. At that moment he was put on the ledge. Either be shoved off and die, or scream at the top of your lungs and cause an avalanche that destroys thousands of pursuing warriors. Well, Ryan Kesler did just that. The game was the most intense hockey game anyone has seen in the last 5 years (including last years Stanley Cup Game 7). Ryan Kesler set the tone.

The Champ is here!!! The Champ is here!!!

Ali shouted this at the top of his lungs. Brass young man not worried about the juggernaut he was fixing to face, not worried about what people would write or say prior to the fight once he was served his expected ass beating. In a moment of dire desperation in the closing minute of a game so close to evaporating 57 minutes of hockey the Americans put together, Kesler delivered his kill shot. A play that is the metaphor of an entire locker room. A race to the puck that he had no business winning, a desperate dive that could have left the team in a 6 on 4 rush with the game on the line after being peppered like a chess club in paintball for the previous three minutes, he dove, connected with the puck, and slid it into the open net. Kill shot. Legend. Rename highway 75 after him, and plant two statues on either side in its farthest northern stretch.

The game had everything any fan of anything could ever imagine. No, change that, the game had anything any American could ever imagine. No, it wasn't the Miracle on Ice, in fact, it wasn't even the Belarus upset over gold medal favorite Sweden in the elimination rounds in 2002, but it was a statement. This team was probably sick of hearing the likes of people like me say that 2014 is "our year" and this olympic tournament would just be merely a trial before the young kids, that shocked the world 2 months ago, took over USA hockey.

Sure, along the way Ryan Miller played phenomenal, Rafalski got a hat-trick (Langenbrunner did not touch that puck), Sidney Crosby cried like a baby considering the first goal went off his stick, he totally dove to try to pull some cheap ass move to prevent a goal only to have Chris Drury go 2001 all up in his face, and he was sitting in the box responsible for the power play goal that wound up being the game winner. But nobody on the Americans did was Kesler did.

I hate them.

Well, thankfully for me and my fellow Americans, Canadians now hate you. But don't worry, they're flat on their back just like Sonny Liston and you're screaming "what's my name!?". Legend.

Significance of Tiger Woods Fiasco

Look, it's been beaten to death, but since a cold front bringing wind ruined my bike ride, I'm once again locked inside (the most exciting thing to do in Dallas). Tiger Woods' situation is epic on so many levels because it's the most iconic athlete of this generation essentially coming clean on an image that made him a global icon and perfect corporate face.

On the level of situation, I don't care what he did (in terms of taking advantage of his fame to notch a few on his bed post) because obviously the majority of men would do the same thing. That said, had he been 'that guy' from the beginning, then we wouldn't be surprised nor would we even care. The reason this story is such a fiasco is because that false image he built up was only for benefit of financial prosperity (something that has plagued the capitalistic society to the point we are currently in with this american and global economy). Here are the reasons this is just so shocking and should never be forgotten no matter if you support him, hate him, or are on the fence about him:

1. Consider the variable of who is involved: Tiger Woods. Are there other athletes of his stature on the planet? Sure are. Ask Derek Jeter. Derek Jeter is sponsored by Gatorade too, he hooks up with tons of famous girls too, except one difference: isn't married and isn't putting up a front. Had this been about him nobody would be nearly as shocked or care nearly as much because it is who he is and nobody ever questioned that. With Tiger Woods, not only were corporate sponsors sold a "brand" or "identity", but the public was as well. For Christ's sake, it's part of his contracts with certain sponsors to be the "family man" and remain married with kids.

2. Consider his false image. This brand was sold for corporate financial gain. He approached married with kids as an economic opportunity which is so diabolical (in my opinion) that I will forever be disgusted with the guy. I questioned his image from day 1 and always felt the announcers and the hype of the "legend of Tiger" was so over the top that it was like I was being sold a condo in Sandals Jamaica. I never trusted him for his knee injury (though I remain certain it was hurt, but his act on the course was just down right failed acting to the point that I felt like I was watching The Wrestler, only starring Nicholas Cage instead of Micky Rourke).

3. Consider the disappointment of a fallen "good guy". Imagine if this was Tim Tebow. Imagine if we all had found out that he is not a virgin until marriage, that his family is really just embezzling money from their charaties, and that they are nothing more than the evil scum that is usually surrounded with organized mega churches we see on TV or read scandals about. The Tebows are different. We trust them, and no matter how much we disagree with their stances on things, we respect the fact that Tim Tebow is putting who he is out onto the table. He is a man of faith and doesn't care who makes fun of it because he is who he is. When some others like Colt McCoy sort of pushes their faith a little too much or duplicate the missions to the developing countries like Tebow has, we question it because it is all a marketing plan for individual awards (Heisman trophy). To me, that is what Tiger Woods has done, only we all trusted him like we do with Tebow.

4. He maintained his lies. He has been in hiding and so silent about this for so many months that it makes me question why he felt he needed to lie in the first place and tell us all his wife was "saving him" that Thanksgiving night. This is something that speaks volumes about his character which is why we again cannot forget all of this. He wasn't trying to protect his wife, family, or keep people out of his personal business, he was trying to maintain his false image which had brought him so many sponsors that filled his pockets full of cash based on duping naive fans in order to push product. He could not control what happened next which is why he finally shut his mouth and let people run with the story, feeling he could just let it all off his back and hopefully control the media to "move on".

5. "Privacy". What exactly does that mean? To me, he wanted to keep his "privacy" for what exactly? Well, I think I know what it was. He had something to hide (obviously). He wanted to keep his "privacy" because he didn't want anyone to find out his dirty secret which would end many relationships with sponsors for being this clean cut family man golfer. Golf is all about sponsors. Sure, you win pretty significant purses for being the best player in the world, but it's not like the major sports. You earn a billion dollars because you net roughly 15 million per year in purses and another 75 million in sponsorships. No wonder he wants his "privacy". That privacy is in order to protect his 75 million dollar image investment he has with corporations.

His speech was exactly what we could all ask for. We don't need to analyze it or question anything more than the fact that he's still got things to hide from us (hence no reporters present or allowed to ask questions). That is all it was. A statement. He said everything we thought he would say and should say and that is that. I personally don't think he will change dramatically and I personally don't even like his stance that he feels he needs to change because I question his drive for economic dominance. "Changing" who he is just helps protect his wealth and continued partnerships with sponsors.

All in all, he'll never change what he does, but rather, who he does it with and how he controls things the media can get there hands on from this moment forward. Finally we know who he is, but unfortunately this will probably be forgotten in a matter of 2 years and a signature major victory which pushes him past Nicklaus for the all time record.

Introduction

Recently I have been encouraged to start typing up my extensive knowledge and analysis of sports in my own unique and always funny way. This blog will be something that keeps me happy and could possibly allow me to pursue a dream of spewing my nonsense for more people to see or hear than what this website will provide. Who knows? I don't know how it happened, but here I am living in Dallas, TX in a career not related to sports or being an asshole (my two specialities). I live in a city which is full of great friends, great experiences, and is "affordable" (nice way of saying sucks asshole, nobody wants to live there, and has nothing to provide like a beach, mountains, real weather, ect) though doesn't have anything I aspired for growing up or getting through college. Ranting aside, this is my life. People often say you should do what you "love", and I do love architecture, but just get bored. I never get bored with sports or telling someone (you) how wrong you are about your opinion on just about anything (thanks east coast raised father and rebellious mother).

Sports are everything. Almost everything people aspire for in life (in my opinion, which is right) is related to athletic glory. Just ask your corny boss that keeps saying those retarded phrases like "kick off" or "this is a slam dunk". It is on everyones mind. Sports just provide a way of settling every single argument. One person says one thing, the other says something else, and then it's settled once the final score is displayed. Just kidding, no way it's that simple, but I digress, it's the closest thing we have to settling any argument (another one of my specialties).

This is just my intro so you get used to the potentially offensive and often times crossing the line comments on my passion: sports. I am the guy that will watch the BCS national title, but also the Louisiana Tech versus Hawaii game on a tuesday night. I am the guy that you could love when praising your team, or despise if you have a douche like Colt McCoy on your roster. Either way, I am in your face about everything and that will never change. I am going to cross the line and offend you, so be prepared.

Ryan