Mama Mack Brown

"Sniffle Sniffle. Coach! Why am I being such a failure on/off the field?"

Mack Brown addresses this type of quandary daily. It's okay, he's seasoned on how to handle it. If it's trouble with the law, he'll dial up one of his lawyer buddies. If it's some type of unfairness directed at the University of Texas football program, the only program entitled to win any game, any award, and any spot in a BCS bid, then it'll be endless whining and crying from mama. If it's poor on field performance, then certainly God was upset at him for something, but hey, lets find an excuse!

Mack Brown recently embraced his former baby quarterback Vince Young by going on (big surprise) a national broadcasted media outlet to cry and moan about how his player was unfairly treated by the Heisman voting since Reggie Bush broke NCAA rules. Mama Mack defends her young by trying to entitle her son, Vince, as the player who should get Reggie's Heisman, even if he didn't win it. Now I'm not going to sit here and accuse the pot of calling the kettle black by suggesting Vince took anything from anyone, or received any type of educational benefit to pass his class, or academically qualify, because that would be blasphemy. Recently Jesus Christ himself committed to UT. Clearly everyone wants to go there and if anything, UT is probably guilty for taking benefits from Vince Young just allowing him to be present at the single greatest university athletic program ever created.

Whether it's babying Vince about the Heisman, telling us all that Sergio Kindle (who has an underaged DUI to his name) has narcolepsy (or just likes texting through apartments at 75mph), Colt McCoy requiring the most awe inspiring, holy water blessed, peanut butter and jelly's to fix his poor outing on national TV, or even if it's to explain his own version of selfish tie breaking systems, he's ALWAYS THERE! Of course every excuse is loaded with hypocrisy and lies, but what else is a mother to do? She must protect her young. Perhaps it's this sort of babying that leads to the development of talented but disappointing ex players out of the program, often times riddled with law enforcement run-ins.

He's a fine piece of work. Watching Hard Knocks, we see a coach that reminds every ex-football player at any level of their skipper constantly giving you tough love trying to get the best possible ability out of you. Instead, Mama Mack Brown embraces adversity the way any mother does when their son comes home crying after getting dirt kicked into their mouth by the town bully: showers them with love and will take care of the problem for you. I'm sure when Limas Sweed is eventually cut from the Steelers, Coach Tomlin is going to get a stern talkin' to by Mama Mack Brown.